I was thinking about why it is that most (6 0ut of 7) of my kids have chosen not to follow the religious path that I tried to teach them. Is it that I didn't have a clue what I was doing and botched up the whole rearing the children thing or did I teach them how to make their own decisions and they chose something else? I know I loved them as much as any mother could. I know that. But when it came to teaching them how to work, I did too much for them. I guess I taught them by telling them and when they didn't do it, I did it for them. I see that they are all creative people, that's good. Some are good cooks, better than me. They appreciate nature and love animals. They are smart and excell at the things that interest them. What do I want from them anyway? What do I expect? I want them to love life, believe in God and Jesus Christ, take good care of their children, be good members of their community, forgive me for my mistakes, be kind.
Is it selfish of me to want to go to their temple weddings, watch the grandkids perform in Sacrament meeting presentations, share spiritual experiences with them? Maybe. I want to believe that we will all be together after this life. So whatever that takes in this life I want them to do that. In the meantime, I hope I haven't blown it. I hope that the decisions they make will make them happy in this life and forever. They are all great kids. I send them peace, joy and a work ethic that they had to figure out for themselves. Sorry kids. I didn't get the "tough love" thing. But the "love" thing, that I got, and that I gave. You'll do better with your children because you see what changes you have to make. It's a process, one I am still working on myself.
